As a new year dawns and we leave behind the dumpster fire that was 2016, let’s start off 2017 by looking at a few movies, TV shows, and songs that are turning 20 so we can all feel old:
This is the movie that has sparked the debate that has thus far spanned two decades about whether or not Jack would have fit on that floating door in the freezing Atlantic ocean (for the record–this was settled on Mythbusters). Because of the movie, 1997 was also the year that gave us that goddamn Celine Dion song no one could escape.
On the 15th anniversary of the movie in 2012, a special edition DVD of the movie was released with an alternate ending. Naturally, I bought it hoping that Jack lived. Spoiler alert–it’s basically the same ending as the theatrical release except that the ship captain gets to see the necklace before Rose chucks it into the ocean. Totally not worth it.
2. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
3. Batman & Robin
20 years ago, George Clooney graced the silver screen with his slightly uncomfortable Batman nipple costume.
4. Antiques Roadshow
Hopeful Participant: “I found this vase in my attic, it belonged to my great grandmother! Is it worth a million dollars?”
Expert: “It’s not even worth as much as the plastic shopping bag you brought it in.”
5. King of the Hill
6. Good Will Hunting
The movie that still has us asking “How do you like them apples?”
I realize that’s kind of a minimizing way to refer to a movie that was nominated for nine Academy Awards (and won two) but honestly, I’m not going to be able to do this movie justice unless I do a full column on it.
7. The Crocodile Hunter
This show premiered in 1997 and continued for a decade until Steve Irwin’s death.
If you really want to cry, watch the tribute dance his daughter, Bindi, did for her dad on Dancing with the Stars:
I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING.
8. I Know What You Did Last Summer
Now that we all have something in our eyes after watching the Bindi Irwin video, let’s revisit this ridiculous teen slasher movie. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Buffy Summers, and Ryan Phillipe run over a man one night and dump the body. One year later, someone leaves them a note letting them know that he knows what they did last summer and starts killing them with a a hook. You know, the usual.
9. Every Popular Song by the Backstreet Boys
1997 was a good year for this boy band because of the release of hits like “As Long As You Love Me”:
“Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”:
and “Quit Playin’ Games with My Heart”:
I’m glad they enjoyed 1997 because in January of 1998, NSYNC released their first single in the US, which means that 1997 for the Backstreet Boys was kind of like that “last great day” you give your dog before taking him to the vet to have him put down.
10. “Bitch”-Meredith Brooks
This one hit wonder has made it on to every angry girl mixtape in the last 20 years, right behind “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette.
11. South Park
That’s right, we’ve been laughing at Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s poop jokes for 20 years. Comedy Central has renewed them at least through 2019, and both Parker and Stone have said they’re going to keep going with this show until Comedy Central pulls the plug.
12. “Hypnotize” by The Notorious B.I.G.
The intro to this song used to be my ringtone and although I still love “Hypnotize”, I’ve since replaced it with this:
13. “MmmBop” by Hanson
That’s a logical step, right? Move from East Coast gangsta rap to the Hanson brothers? Yeah, I thought so too.
For the record, I still remember all the words to this song. I’m pretty sure this is why I can’t retain anything now, my brain’s hard drive is too full of this bullshit. I can’t remember where I put my wallet to save my life, but while I’m looking for it I can sing “MMMBOP! BA DUBA DOP BA DU BOP!” with startling clarity.
14. Ally McBeal
Two words: dancing baby.
15. “Fly” by Sugar Ray
Mark McGrath claimed this song was about death and thought it was obvious to everyone, despite the bouncy beat.
16. “I Want You” by Savage Garden
If anyone can explain to me what the fuck a “chica cherry cola” is, I will forever be indebted to you.
17. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt
Remember when Gwen Stefani used to make good music and didn’t date Blake Shelton? Because I do. I miss those days.
18. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV Show)
An unpopular show created by all-around failure, Joss Whedon. I’m sure none of you have heard of it.
19. “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind
Everyone’s favorite song about meth! Apparently, this song was intended as a response to Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Wild Side” but from a San Francisco perspective.
20. “Tubthumping” by Chumbawumba
Seeing as how New Year’s Eve was on Saturday, I’m pretty sure some of you rocked out to this British ode to binge drinking. At the very least, I hope you all remembered to tip your bartenders who were forced to listen to you sing/shout this song.
Happy Throwback Thursday!