The Bronze

The Bronze- Episode 5: “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”/ The Annointed/ The Duality of Slayoral Existence

The Bronze

Brandon is the Editor-in-Chief and President of Maglomaniac. He is the author of the Eat Your Serial title Ten Years Gone: Pomp and Circumstance, as well as the columns Child's Play, Nerd's Eye View, Letters to Jeremy, Irate Educator, The Audio Files, and The Dao of Ninjape, among others.

Though I’ve seen episodes of “Buffy” many a times, it’s always interesting to rewatch them to see what little things you missed before. Since this show came out during my younger and more vulnerable years, it’s fun to see how I respond now as both an older person, and knowing what happens later in the show. Most fan boy types are a stickler for inconsistencies so when Buffy has a ponytail in one scene and it’s slightly different in the next, or Giles was holding a different book than he was in the last scene, you stock up on these sort of petty grievances to (for some inexplicable reason) lash out about on messageboards or at a panel somewhere and feel warm and satisfied.


This works too, but I don’t have a hundred dollars to spend on tacos, and gave away all my stretchy pants.

When your young you don’t always pick up on the subtletys and certain things that seemed dumb as a child can seem clever as you realize their intent.  “When am I EVER gonna need to use the pythagorean theorem in my career as first ever Olympic Rocketsled champion?!” Later, I’d come to use that theorem nearly every day (in a matter of speaking).  The subject matter gets progressively more mature and complex, as it tends to do for most of us as we get older.  So in these early episodes it’s fun to relive those younger seemingly more innocent days.  Were the days more innocent or were we?



How can I be asleep while I’m high on crack? Chinese riddle for ya!”

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s move on to episode 5:


Never Kill a Boy on a First Date”

So we find Buffy in the cemetary and she kills a vampire and makes one of her trade mark punns while staking the vamp saying “I’m Buffy and your HISTORY!”.  Yeah not especially clever but she’s 16 and coming up with this stuff while fighting to the death.  Let’s see you do better!  Then Giles (who pops up from behind a huge tombstone holding a notebook) criticises her technique and for taking too much time.  Then Giles finds a ring on the ground and goes to consult his books.  In the beginning of the show, Giles does these 2 things a lot.  Complains and consults his books.  Well he’s the librarian so books are a big part of his life one way or another.  I’m not sure how many times he goes to consult his books on the show, but we can assume when he’s offscreen that’s what he’s doing most of the time.  Cut to a scene of the master, who looks like this:



He’s reading some sort of ancient evil texts about a prophecy about “the annointed one” who the Slayer won’t know, and will lead her to hell, and that “the annointed” will be his greatest weapon against the Slayer.  He’s telling this to a few vampire minions and well, us.  Then he throws one of the vampires across a room to emphasize the importance of this.  He’s like that.

So Buffy, is trying to balance out life as the new girl in high school and being the defender against evil, not easy.  They find out from consulting their books that the ring Giles found belongs to the order or Aurelius.  Then a student comes in the library and Giles asks “what do you want?” to which he replies “a book?”.  Giles tends to forget his cover as the librarian and quickly shifts gears.  We can presume many of the students don’t read a lot.  Buffy helps the student “Owen” find a book and shows interest in him.  So Buffy has a little crush and figures she can date and slay at the same time.  Well, we’ll see about that.  Xander asks Buffy “so how’d the slaying go last night?” and tries to cover up by saying “uh, I meant, how did the laying go last night?” Yeah, not much better, but he’s not too smooth.  So Buffy finds Owen and they make a date to meet at “The Bronze”.  Giles tells Buffy that the prophecy comes through tonight and it conflicts with her date.  Buffy’s not happy.  So what do you do, go out on your date or try to save the world?  She and Giles go to the cemetary to check things out, and nothing seems to be happening so Buffy heads to “The Bronze” to find Owen.

Some southern dude on a night time busride starts talking about how everyone will be judged, and the bus gets into an accident.  Way to go fanatic!  Well it’s all a part of some vampire plans, to bring about “the annointed”.  So Buffy’s trying to date a guy and there’s an ancient prophecy coming to fruition at the same time, will these two events intersect? You bet! So Buffy has a date scheduled with Owen the next day and Giles also comes to Buffy saying that the prophecy is coming true and she needs to go investigate so Buffy pulls double duty having a date and doing her duty.  So Buffy’s at “The Bronze” (again) with Owen and Cordelia shows up also showing interest in Owen, you know typical high school stuff.  Giles goes to investigate the bus crash and gets trapped by a bunch of vampires, meanwhile Angel shows at The Bronze and tells Buffy once again to be careful and that she needs to be out tonight fighting some sort of doom.  Buffy goes to rescue Giles and Owen winds up following with, this is all getting out of hand.  They all come together, the southern guy on the bus wakes up at a funeral parlor as a vampire, they all fight and Buffy kills the vampire.  So Owen who got hurt goes home, but comes back to school the next day feeling an adrenaline rush an wanting more adventure.  Buffy having more than her fill of excitement realizes this kind of match isn’t for her and tells Owen things aren’t working out.  Well, this isn’t the end of Buffy’s romantic encounters as one of her most important relationships is on the horizon.  Well Buffy’s dating escapade didn’t work out but Buffy and Giles are happy that they seem to have avoided the coming of “the annointed”.  Then cut to the master who reveals that “the annointed” one has arrived.  We expect to see a pretty menacing figure shown but we find that things aren’t always what they appear to be as “the annointed” one is shown




This kid will apparently play a crucial role in the upcoming going downs with The Master but we’ll find out more as the story unfolds.

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